Brilliant!

Posted on Tue May 2nd, 2023 @ 4:08am by Captain Dick Sprague

Mission: Naming Conventions
Location: USS Albion
Timeline: Current

ON:

{USS Albion, Corridor}

Sprague: ::walking::

Gage: ::from inside the conference room:: "Dick, you gotta take a look at this!" ::motions to Sprague to come in::

{USS Albion, Conference Room}

Sprague: ::enters to find Captain Gage, Commander Andrews, and Brad James seated at the table::

Gage: "It's brilliant, Dick, brilliant!" ::turns to Andrews:: "Play the tape, play the tape."

Andrews: ::activates the main viewer::

::peaceful, yet hopeful music begins playing as the voice over starts: "Do you want to live the life you've always dreamed of? Then try Shitehead, a twice daily tablet to clear your mind, straighten your posture, and keep you regular. It does it all!" ::clips of every species, race, and gender known to the Federation appear, showing them laughing, prancing, and not doing anything at all:: "Or talk to your doctor about twice daily Shitehead." ::more bliss appears on the screen as the voice changes:: "Side effects include severe sexual dysfunction, rapid aging, and vaporization, although this is uncommon." ::happy music ending as original voice returns:: "Be Shitehead today."

Gage: "I tell you, Brad's done it again!"

Andrews: "Shitehead?"

James: "Yeah, it encompasses the whole, uh, mind-body, um, dichotomy that we're dealing with here."

Gage: "What do you think, Dick? It's stupendous, right?"

OFF:

Captain Dick Sprague
Commanding Officer
USS Albion NCC-3020