The Three Stooges

Posted on Sun Apr 5th, 2026 @ 8:57am by Commander Donald ‘Don’ Key

199 words; about a 1 minute read

Mission: How do you do it?
Location: USS Albion
Timeline: Present

:ON:

#SNIP#

Co-helmsman: "Three cloaked ships have collided beneath us, rendering them de-cloaked and adrift. What would you like to do? A) Transport them. B) Transplant them. C) Obliterate them. D) Transliterate them. Or E) All of the Above."

Everyone: ::turn their heads to Sprague::

#SNIP#

Sprague: “Is this like some kind of video game?”

Chatsworth: “No, Captain. This is state of the art AI. This is what will be replacing you all within the next few months.”

Key: “Excuse me?”

Chatsworth: ::Smug grin:: “Did no-one mention that to you, Commander? Coming here to see what makes you folk so efficient was just part of the reason for our visit. The other part is to see how compatible the Albion is with co-helmsman… in preparation to replace you.”

Sprague: ::Angry and/or confused:: “Then I choose option A!”

Co-helmsman: “Initiating transport.”

::The Klingon Po’rok, the Romulan Shonzin, and Boson, the Ferengi commander, all appeared on the deck simultaneously::

Po’rok: ::Looks around before realising where he is:: “puH puqloD SoH!” ::Takes out his dagger and begins walking towards Chatsworth and the evaluation team::

Chatsworth: “Sprague! Do something!”


:OFF:

Commander Donald ‘Don’ Key
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Albion

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