The Assessment

Posted on Tue Jan 17th, 2023 @ 3:00am by Captain Dick Sprague
Edited on on Sun Jan 29th, 2023 @ 10:29pm

Mission: The Assessment
Location: USS Albion
Timeline: Current

ON:

Finally time for a new mission!

Backstory: The USS Albion has left Starbase 40 and is en route to a science colony on Viridian IV to deliver equipment.

OFF:

{USS Albion, Bridge}

Sprague: ::asleep in the Captain's chair::

Hadden: "Captain."

Andrews: ::notices Sprague; clears his throat:: "Yes, Lieutenant?"

Hadden: "Signal from a Federation-registered long-range shuttle, sir. She wishes to come alongside, and lock on."

Andrews: "For what purpose?"

Genno: "Our security scanning shows it has a Grade-One priority, Commander. Non-belligerency confirmed. I suspect it is a ...courier of some kind."

Andrews: "Very well, Miss Genno, see to it."

Genno: "Aye, Sir."

{USS Albion, Shuttle dock entrance}

Sprague: ::tries to do the Picard maneuver one more time before the doors open, but to no avail as his TNG jumper shifts right back up over his gut:: "Open the airlock."

Glass: "Opening the air lock!" ::the door opens::

Cromwell: "Hello Captain Sprague, I'm Captain Ambrose Cromwell, here to conduct your two-year command review." ::extends his hand::

Sprague: "Two year command review, what's that?"

Florian: ::fumbling with a PADD:: "Oh sir, I must have forgotten to tell you... it's a new Star Fleet policy. Every starship Captain receives a complete review every two years. Uh, Lieutenant Anders has more details! Lieutenant Anders?"

Anders: ::fumbling with his own PADD:: "Um, yes, that's correct... Every starship Captain receives a complete review every two years. New Star Fleet policy!"

Cromwell: "It's nothing to worry about, Captain, and should only take a couple of days. Mind if I meet you in your ready room in about 20 minutes to begin the initial assessment?"

Sprague: "Uh, um, uh, yeah I guess."

{USS Albion, Gym}

Janeway, Nabarati, Tryon: ::all wearing "Star Fleet Marine" t-shirts while doing jujitsu moves::

Janeway: "So you grab the wrist right here, and--" ::throws Nabarati across the room::

Tryon: "Totally rad."

{USS Albion, Captain's Ready Room}

Cromwell: "Let's begin with the intelligence assessment." ::pulls a PADD out from his bag::

Spague: ::gulp::

Cromwell: "These are easy, don't worry. Just answer with whatever pops in your mind."

Sprague: "Okay." ::almost starts hyperventilating::

Cromwell: "Question One. Johnny's mother has three kids. The first is named Penny, and the second is named Nickel. What's the third kid's name?"

Sprague: ::thinks for a moment:: "Quarter?"

Cromwell: "Hmm. Okay, question two."

Sprague: ::tries to psyche himself back up::

Cromwell: "What is a tin can made out of?"

Sprague: "Aluminum! Aluminum!"

Cromwell: "Question three. Which weights more, a ton of tribbles or a ton of dilithium crystals?"

Sprague: "Wait, I know this one! It's a trick question." ::smiles:: "A ton of tribbles."

Cromwell: "Maybe we should move on to the psychological assessment." ::holds up a Rorschach test inkblot:: "What do you see here?"

Sprague: "A chocolate sundae."

Cromwell: ::holds up another one::

Sprague: "A carmel sundae."

Cromwell: ::holds up another one::

Sprague: "Fudge sundae."

{USS Albion, Cargo Bay 1}

Grexx and Mack: ::inspecting the scientific equipment to be delivered to Viridian IV::

{USS Albion, corridor outside Cargo Bay 1}

Crewman #1: "You up for backgammon later?"

Crewman #2: "You bet."

Varley: ::suddenly appears:: "You men have work?"

Crewmen #1 and #2: ::simultaneously:: "Yes, sir!"

Varley: "Then snap to it."

{USS Albion, Bridge}

Spivick: ::randomly busts out from the turbo lift:: "I've got the sick bay ready. Will someone please tell me what is going on?"

{Unknown location}

Unknown individual: ::sitting at a chair, petting a cat, while watching a computer screen showing Sprague struggle through his assessment:: "Excellent."

OFF:

Will Sprague pass his assessment? What's going on? Will the scientific equipment be delivered successfully?

You decide!

Captain Dick Sprague
Commanding Officer
USS Albion NCC-3020